Snow Blower: 2022 Porsche Cayenne Turbo GT review

The 2001 Le Mans 24 Hour is most frequently remembered for the torrential rain that hammered the great race from start to finish, causing absolute bedlam. Bentley mechanics were spotted in the pit garages frantically opening up panels and drying out sodden circuitry with hot-air guns, crashes caused by the horrendous visibility were tallied faster than the laps, and the iconic glowing brake discs after dark were as notably absent as sunburnt Poms. But, as a spectator that particular year, something else stands out for me.

After unsuccessfully searching around in the general location of my tent during the race, I realised I wasn’t lost or under the influence of too many a Kronenbourg, but my entire campsite had, in fact, been stolen. I don’t mean a few valuable bits and pieces half-inched, I mean literally everything including my accommodation and tragically, my beer, thrown in the back of a van and taken.

29

That’s why my second night at Le Mans was spent not drinking in the palpable post-race atmosphere of the circuit, but in a 'Formule 1' budget hotel. Disaster? No. As it happens, the Pilbeam team was also staying at the same hotel after a disastrous race (crashing out in the third lap) and we had a wonderful night over dinner drowning our sorrows immersed in conversation about cars – it was great.

Even the best-laid plans sometimes go awry and that’s exactly why the Porsche Cayenne Turbo GT you see here is not hunting the 300km/h milestone on a German autobahn as was the original plan but, like my misappropriated tent in the north of France, this adventure also has a happy ending.

The plan started falling apart as soon as I arrived at Porsche’s headquarters in Stuttgart to collect the car. It was technically the third day of the German winter and, with typical Porsche efficiency, the Pirelli P Zero summer tyres had been swapped for winter rubber.

But this is Porsche’s flagship SUV and while Nurburgring records make it easy to forget as much, this car must be able to handle adversity exactly like this

29

Unfortunately though, Conti Winter Contact tyres are not available in 22-inch fitment so not only had the stunning model-defining forged Neodyme wheels been substituted for a more conventional 21-inch rim, Porsche’s fastest SUV to date was now only permitted to go 240km/h.

Photographer Max had a plan B. Instead of a mission to crack the 300km/h top speed on the freeways outside the city, we would instead head southwest to the Black Forest where the abundant natural beauty would provide a pleasing backdrop to our monster whatever the weather chose to do.

And what the elements chose was rain – lots of rain. Except, when you’re 1000 metres above sea level and an unseasonably cold front decides to visit, that rain quickly turns into a blizzard.

The weather deteriorated rapidly and the difficult conditions quickly caught out unscrupulous drivers who hadn’t been as organised as Porsche. Beached by their summer tyres, the sides of the roads were littered with scuppered cars and, dare I say it, had we arrived in a rear-drive 911 or Cayman, our day may have ended similarly.

But this is Porsche’s flagship SUV and while Nurburgring records and carbon-fibre bits make it easy to forget as much, this car must be able to handle adversity exactly like this.

29

I can tell you from experience that other Cayenne variants are surprisingly good off-road but the Turbo GT has been honed to enhance its fair-weather agility and place it firmly at the top of the performance pack. A 17mm reduction in ride height, remapped PSM and revised PTM all-wheel drive transmission management could all conspire against the GT’s manner in wintry conditions, while its more tail-focused power delivery and increased power and torque might be difficult to manage when a VW Golf’s 110kW is evidently enough to get others into trouble today.

Before I can answer any of these many questions and more, we need to find out way out of a traffic jam. Another unlucky summer-rubber-clad vehicle has pirouetted, this time into a second car and blocked the road. I’m about to make a heroic departure from the line of cars but seconds before I execute my planned exit using something other than a road, the black BMW 3 Series that has been tailing me erupts into a mass of blue strobes and disappears on the opposite side of the road. It won’t be the last lucky escape of the day.

29

With deep snow now covering everything, it’s impossible to differentiate regular highway from forest track and a detour sends me under canopy so thick that even the GT’s navigation gives up trying to find a path. I’m somewhat cowardly when it comes to manly, adventurous off-road excursions away from friendly sealed roads and drive-through fast food, but the GT inspires confidence even when the weather is horrendous and, by definition, I’m lost.

I needn’t have worried. Between clever differentials, simply brilliant traction control technology and those Contis I’d initially berated, the GT is quite remarkable in challenging conditions. With all safety systems on, the Porsche is utterly foolproof and if you had to be somewhere in a hurry, in a blizzard, PSM will get you there. But we’re not in a hurry, we’re in a forest, in the snow.

The GT is quite remarkable in challenging conditions. With all safety systems on, this Porsche is utterly foolproof

29

Unlike some high-performance models, pressing and holding the ESC button really does cancel all assistance but one click for Sport ESC is more than enough to make snowy forest drives extremely memorable. The GT has a delightful rear-biased power delivery but with the insurance policy of driven front wheels when necessary. Add to that a beautifully sensitive steering system with a ratio that is surprisingly quick for a big SUV, and this incredible green hulk dances through the snow.

Where some traction systems would cope by constantly pinching brakes at each corner, the Porsche approach is to lean on clever power distribution before intervening with vectoring through braking as a last resort. The effect feels much more natural and the intervention of electronics is harder to detect. Despite the lower ride height, there’s still adequate ground clearance to avoid becoming a plough and the chassis remains supple and reactive throughout.

29

Grip and traction are so surprisingly abundant that even in these conditions, far more of the mighty 4.0-litre V8’s grunt can be deployed than you'd think feasible and the turbocharged unit can demonstrate what a triumphant engine it is.

Some modular powertrains can feel a little forced when in higher states of tune but with 471kW and 850Nm, the prolific 4.0 TFSI has never felt more right. Combined with monstrous traction, I’ve seldom sampled petrol power that’s almost as immediate as electric and the report from its tailpipes is completely glorious.

There aren’t many opportunities to give it full noise in snow and ice but on the few occasions I had chance, I fully believed the claimed 3.3s 0-100km/h acceleration. The whole theatre of making a Cayenne go fast would be nowhere near as pleasant if it weren’t for the vast carbon-ceramic brakes in each corner.

Each prod of the pedal was a revelation with classic Porsche firm feel, progressive action and, thankfully, no need to warm the rotors before full stopping power is achieved. Just as remarkable as Porsche’s re-engineering of the Cayenne is what Continental has done with the Winter Contact.

29

Keeping a 2.2-tonne SUV attached to the road under any circumstances is an impressive feat but the Contis not only find grip but deliver it consistently and predictably. There’s only so much provocation the four wheels can take, but when the Porsche does eventually break into a slide, it’s progressive and manageable.

I was expecting the GT to be a little flummoxed when thrown at some unseasonal snow and ice with a stability program more tuned for the track than the outback. But development of the Turbo GT has been typically Porsche and wonderfully complete. Many have sampled and demonstrated its agility in perfect weather but the way it responds and thrives in less favourable conditions is a testament to the badge on its bonnet.

Aside from its performance, this Porsche ironically stands out for its subtlety. There’s not a single rival that comes close to the Turbo GT's potency without shouting about it

29

A lot of car comes with a lot of dollars on its price tag though, and the Turbo GT will set you back $336,100 before on-road costs and options. That’s $36,200 more than the less thirsty and more powerful (but not as quick) Turbo S E-Hybrid coupe but for the cash, you’re getting a Cayenne that’s significantly faster in a straight line and around corners. The beauty of statistics, however, is how you can skew things any way you want.

When compared to the $208,500 Audi RSQ8, which shares many of the mechanicals, the Porsche seems viciously steep. But when you bring in the $392,000 price of a Lamborghini Urus, the faster Porsche looks like a bit of a bargain.

Aside from its performance credentials, the Porsche ironically stands out for its level of subtlety. There’s not a single rival that comes close to the Turbo GT's potency without shouting about it.

The GT, however, is a very stealthy assassin – especially this particular example. Not only is it painted in a lovely but understated metallic BRG, the 12 o'clock marker on the steering wheel has been deleted, as has its suede covering in favour of more conventional leather, while the calipers – which are yellow as standard with any Porsche carbon-ceramic brakes – have been optioned black.

Combined with the temporary 21-inch wheels, this GT could sneak up behind an AMG GLE 63 S coupe and snap its neck.

29

There’s no denying the popularity of high-end, high-performance SUVs and the appeal for many is versatility. Within one parking space, cars like this are incredibly multi-tasking and offer a vehicle that can embarrass a lot of hot hatches on twisty roads yet accommodate the entire family on a camping holiday. Their luxurious cabins are comfortable for long drives, but they possess the dynamics and performance to significantly shorten the journey should you get the urge.

The Porsche Cayenne Turbo GT certainly does all of this admirably well but to its list of talents, I’d like to add one more.

In some lesser machines, this particular trip might have resulted in some blank pages in MOTOR and a 404 error on this web page but when the Black Forest turned white, the adventure that unfolded was even better than we had planned.

2022 Porsche Cayenne Turbo GT specifications