Kia Carnival 2023 review: Platinum diesel

I feel sorry for the kids. Not mine – I only have one and he’s doing just fine living rent-free in my house.

I mean the kids, a whole generation who've never had the pleasure of their parents coming home with a Tarago, complete with a moon roof and velour upholstery. Sold to them by a guy wearing shorts with a coin pocket, long socks, a combover and Hush Puppies.

Now they roll into the driveway with a brand-new SUV. The third row is a pain to get to and it’s not much fun when you’re there. They’re tall and imposing and some people really don’t like them.

They yearn for the old days, forgetting that you sat on the engine, that purple velour is gross and actually, this people mover was really a delivery van in drag.

In reality, they never really went away, and Kia had always sold useful numbers of the old Carnival. But times change and a big box was never going to appeal in the modern market.

Luckily, Kia’s design-led strategy extended to the people-mover once they got the SUVs sorted. And while it might ride on a new SUV platform, sharing much with its Sorento sibling, the Carnival is a refreshing evolution of the formula.

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JUMP AHEAD

• How much is it, and what do you get?
• How do rivals compare on value?
• Interior comfort, space and storage
• What is it like to drive?
• How is it on fuel?
• How safe is it?
• Warranty and running costs
• VERDICT
• Specifications

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How much is it, and what do you get?

At the top of the Carnival range is the Platinum diesel, wearing a hefty $71,980 driveaway sticker.

That’s more than most seven-seat SUVs from Japan or Korea, but less than the most expensive. It’s also a fair bit more than an entry-level Carnival S petrol.

The electrically-operated rear doors have a little party trick where they can be remotely triggered from the key fob, which I found quite amusing and also impressed my nephew.

Up here on the top-shelf Carnival you get the big touchscreen that deletes wireless Apple CarPlay and Android Auto (some sort of ridiculous ego politics issue between Hyundai Motor Group and the Big Tech team). It’s a great system, though, and does without the Seltos’s infuriating speed warnings.

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How do rivals compare on value?

Hyundai’s Staria is the obvious choice, with its Jetsons looks. Like the Carnival it looks fantastic, but in a more obviously spaceship way.

It has a shorter warranty than the Kia, and the same 2.2-litre diesel but with less power and torque. It’s more van-like in the way it sits on the road, too, as opposed to the Carnival’s almost wagon-like vibe. It’s cheaper, though, with the Highlander AWD diesel topping the range at $66,500 (compared to this $71,980 Carnival).

Entering from left field just a couple of months ago is the LDV Mifa. Cartoon character name (and appearance) aside, it’s a serious entrant from the Chinese manufacturer. Powered by a petrol 2.0-litre turbo engine, the range starts at $53,990 and tops out at $72,990, both drive-away. The Mifa really goes for the luxury angle, with airline-style captain’s chairs and leather and bling everywhere. If you want to go electric, you can go for the Mifa 9 EV version for a six-figure price tag.

Honda’s once segment-champ Odyssey has, sadly, dropped from the local range. A moment of silence, please.

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Interior comfort, space and storage

As you might imagine, it’s massive in the Carnival, just like the old one.

This Platinum had the eight-seat interior, meaning two rear rows of three seats each. Unlike an SUV, you get a flat floor which immediately improves your chances of enjoying the journey in the third row.

Climbing in through the huge door apertures isn’t too difficult and the middle row slides forward for a generous pathway. Once you’re in, you’ve got four cup holders and a storage tray so you can take your supplies with you. There’s even two USB ports for charging.

With some negotiation, a 180cm person can sit in the third row in reasonable comfort. The seats are well-shaped and not just a basic plank, which is nice.

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The middle row features three separate seats. That’s quite convenient because you can load people into the back row from either side and only one person has to jump out.

The middle row slides for and aft for more space at the rear, which is good either for big loads or a full complement of passengers. The middle seat folds down to reveal cupholders and you can store bottles in the door pockets.

Middle row passengers have a huge amount of headroom, sunroof or not. With the sunroof it feels even bigger inside, with tons of light from both above and beside through the big windows. You can keep cool under the glass sunroof, too, with your own climate zone.

Up front you’ve got two very comfortable bucket seats and a more car-like position than most people-movers of days gone by, the old Carnival included. You don’t sit too high, but rather you sit 'in' the car and it’s all very civilised.

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Kia’s familiar digital dashboard and large touchscreen are along for the ride and there’s another pair of cup holders and a wireless charging pad. Two USB ports offer power and connectivity.

The 3090mm long wheelbase means there’s heaps of room and the longish overhang provides for a decent boot even with all seats in play. The boot is deep, though, so you’ll have to bend down to clear it out.

I thought it interesting Kia hasn’t provided a false floor for more storage, but it’s the kind of thing most buyers probably remove and never see again, so it’s probably for the best.

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What is it like to drive?

I’ve said that it’s more car-like than previous people movers, but it’s worth repeating. Not only does the driving position feel like a car, the Carnival drives more like one.

Well, a big one. That fits eight people and their stuff.

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Kia’s 2.2-litre turbo-diesel is a strong unit. It’s not particularly noisy, either, getting the job done with a thrummy character that never becomes overbearing. The eight-speed auto is a hum-dinger, shifting smoothly and decisively, rarely tripping up or worse, letting you roll back on hills.

Despite having to shift well over two tonnes of van, the engine never feels stressed, happily wafting along on the solid torque figure. It’s pretty relaxed but not docile, with plenty of shove available with a decisive right foot. You even get paddles – but I never used them, because I didn’t need to. Nor did I bother with sport mode.

It’s even got pretty good steering, the front end responding promptly to your instructions, and you’ve got a good idea of what’s going on beneath you.

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The suspension is a nice blend of ride and handling, but obviously the dial is biased towards comfort.

The long wheelbase certainly helps, as does the low centre of gravity, with roll limited and very little pitching under braking.

It doesn’t even feel heavy, at least not with only two or three people in it. It’s nicely judged and makes what could be a chore quite enjoyable. Parking is a bit of a pain because it is well over five metres, but there’s plenty of vision and electronic assistance.

The diesel can tow 750kg unbraked and 2000kg braked, with towball download of 200kg.

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How is it on fuel?

I spent a week mostly bombing around town – that’s what these things spend most of their days doing – and it returned an indicated 8.9L/100km.

The 72-litre tank ensures a decent run between fills, particularly on longer runs where the long eighth gear should eke out nearly a thousand kilometres on the highway.

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How safe is it?

The Carnival's five-star ANCAP safety rating comes courtesy of a pretty decent suite of safety features.

There are five ISOFIX points across the two rows of seats and five top tether points as well.

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Warranty and running costs

Kia’s seven-year, unlimited-kilometre warranty applies and is probably the best warranty for a people mover on the market. You get a year of roadside assist, extended every time you service with Kia.

Servicing comes around every 12 months or 15,000km, which isn’t bad for a turbocharged Korean engine. The capped-price servicing program covers the first seven services and…well it’s not cheap.

The first one kicks off alright at $349, then jumps to $610, down to $423, up to $798(!), down again to $393, another jump to $777 then finishing off with a $419.

Over the seven years that’s a total of $3767 over five years, or north of $500 per year on average.

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VERDICT

The Carnival is a ripper of a people mover. Quiet, composed, and – in Platinum spec – loaded to the gills with stuff before you even load it to the gills with people. And their stuff.

It’s mightily practical, but looks almost as cool as a car like this can.

Whether it brings back the fun of the 80s Tarago vibe is up to you – nobody waves at you in one of these – but it’s so much better it probably doesn’t matter. It’s also usefully better than the car it replaces which felt like a van with a retro-fitted interior. It wasn’t bad, but it just wasn’t quite there.

If you're prepared to pay the big bucks, this Carnival is the whole package.

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