WHAT do you do when you feel the heat of Audi, BMW and Mercedes-Benz bearing down on your ultra-luxury limo party and need to reassert yourself as the “world’s leading luxury goods provider”?

If you happen to be Rolls-Royce, then you build a one-off, bespoke Sweptail coupe, which is reported to be the most expensive car in the world.

Of course, Rolls would never be so uncouth as to discuss the awkward matter of money when it comes to such an aspirational and unique vehicle, but we will – if reports that the Sweptail cost upwards of $16m are accurate, it takes the record as the most expensive known new car offered to date.

Despite sharing the proportions and length of a decent sized boat, the Sweptail accommodates just two, with all of the remaining space reserved for luggage and artistic licence.

Its snout is framed by a continuous brushed aluminium band more akin to a Dyson cooling fan and dominated by a huge version of the traditional Rolls-Royce Pantheon grille, which has been machined from a single piece of aluminium and painstakingly hand polished to a mirror finish.

Allowing prison inmates to stamp out a Rolls rego plate would be as inappropriate as starting a Mexican wave at the opera. Instead, the car maker machined the two-digit ID from more aluminium and inlaid it to the lower grille and boot lid. One assumes the customer is not considering the possibility of the car ever having a second owner.

Examples of Rolls-Royce’s hyperbolic accessories include a mechanism installed to the centre console, which produces a bottle of champagne and a pair of flutes at the touch of a button, and implies the car is going to a country with relaxed views on drink driving.

The Sweptail takes design cues from a number of classic and vintage Rolls cars, including the Phantom I Round Door, Phantom II Streamline, Gurney Nutting Phantom II Two Door Light Saloon and 20/25 Limousine Coupe, all of which are also rare and exclusive in their own right.

The Sweptail made its debut at the Concorso d’Eleganza at Villa d’Este on the weekend on the shores of Lake Como in Italy, but exactly where in the world it will call home remains undisclosed.

Its right-hand drive configuration leaves only a handful of possible global locations, and the number eight in its registration chalks Hong Kong as a likely location, where the figure is considered especially auspicious.