Tagging the upmarket XE Fairmont Ghia with the European Sports Pack (ESP) badge was, if you’ll pardon our snickering, like calling a family-size ham-and-pineapple a proper pizza.

Because God alone knows what the Europeans would have made of 4.7 metres, 1400kg and 5.8 litres. (Five or six Renaults and a good eight or ten Alfasuds, probably.) Of course, it didn’t really matter that the ESP wasn’t especially European, because neither were the people buying it.

Yet, that notional Euro factor was a strong force in Aussie cars back in the late-’70s and early-’80s when it was still generally agreed that Europe built the world’s best cars. Hmm, how things have changed.

Ghia badge

And what it did was turn the fleet-manager’s-darling, the basic XE Falcon, into a properly desirable car. And it still is. More than ever, in fact. Mind you, it had a good basis to start with.

The move from XD to XE Falcon brought with it the well-overdue ditching of leaf springs for the Ford Falcon sedan’s rear end. In their place went a six-link coil-sprung set-up with a Watts link and, suddenly, the Falcon was transformed in terms of ride and handling.

XE Fairmont 5.8L engine

The rest of the ESP stuff was borderline gorgeous, too. You got Bilstein dampers to further improve every aspect of how the car moved across uneven ground and a lovely set of Scheel seats complete with racy stripes lest you forget you were driving in Europe today.

There was a full set of gauges and the interiors were available in a wonderful range of colours (tans and warm greys) rather than the one-dull-grey-fits-all that you get these days. But there was more: big, fat (for the day) 225/60 15 tyres were mounted on classy yet sporty alloys (inevitably dubbed ‘snowflakes’), two-tone paint, a chin spoiler and many cars wore a set of low-mounted spotlights.

XE Fairmont ESP 5.8 front

IN DETAIL Engine: 5766cc V8, OHV, 16v Output: 149kW/415Nm Weight: 1400kg Price: $14,000

What’s our fave Falcon? Check out MOTOR’s take on the top 10 Fast Ford Falcons ever made here.