Reviews
Gallery 1
On normal weekdays Berlin is pedestrian heaven and motoring hell. There simply isn’t road space for much traffic. But today there’s our shiny Mercedes-Benz G500 on triple-XL Hot Wheels.
You don’t need a truck licence, but a truckie’s experience in climbing aboard helps. Okay, Mercedes Actros it ain’t but at 2235mm tall and 2190mm wide, you’ll be glad it’s bristling with proximity sensors, Surroundview camera and park aids.
It may not be as big as last year’s 6×6 model but it’s still an intimidating sight. Most gave the €226,100 (AUD$331,276) super G the thumbs-down – or one or two fingers up. To cyclists, the menacing intake rasp and exhaust rumble warns them well before my slipstream shakes them loose of their line.
By now I’m in Kreuzberg, where East meets West, and the G500 4×4 Squared feels surprisingly at ease in the shoal of spoiler-laden 3 Series BMWs and MkV Golfs. It’s an ostentatious statement of affluence, a serious CO2 offender, a street-legal tank with heavy-duty portal axles and push-button diff locks.
Parked overnight in a left-wing area, there’d be a fairly high risk it would get vandalised. But on the dimly lit streets of the town’s rough side, where the Russian mafia clashes with rival eastern gangs, my SUV with the tinted windows is given a wide berth. It’s too risky a target.
Like every G-class, it’s old-fashioned and idiosyncratic: there’s no space between you and the door yet overhead could house roosting bats; the central locking is incredibly loud and the tailgate slams shut like a vault.
More worryingly, this edition struggles to hold a straight line, accurately follow steering inputs or maintain composure over city tarmac. Then there’s the barge-like 14.3m turning circle.
Given the considerable momentum it can build with the power and weight, you’d have to be concerned about stopping but to our delight the upgraded steel brakes have the stamina to control the spider-legged Benz. Admittedly, the drag coefficient of a block of flats helps slow her down, as does engine braking from the feisty V8, the rolling resistance of the clown-sized boots, and the friction inside the four-wheel drive system.
Too tall to spend the night in an underground car park, we found a hotel outside the city where the G could remain outside and safe. In the morning, the hotel staff ventured to take a closer look and they loved it.
But 10 minutes later, on the narrow avenue leading back to the autobahn, we were given the bird – number 16 – by an angry bus driver, even though we were way over to the side of the road to make way for him.
2.0 OUT OF 5 STARS
LIKE: Tonka truck fantasties made real; lovely V8 engine DISLIKE: Terrible in almost every objective way; not available in Oz
SPECS Engine: 3892cc V8, DOHC, 32v, twin-turbo Power: 310kW @ 5500rpm Torque: 610Nm @ 2250-4750rpm Weight: 2996kg 0-100km/h: 6.5sec (claimed) Price: $331,276
