Friday rant: Oxygen thieves

Let’s hope there’s a Hell for these creeps

Friday rant: Oxygen thieves

SOMEONE stole Mum’s mobility scooter. Stole a mobility scooter from a widow who can’t walk anywhere thanks to a debilitating post-polio condition. What else do these people do? Punch puppies in the face?

I know from experience that mobility scooters don’t do tricks, they don’t corner very well and wheelies are almost impossible. People don’t own them for fun. They own them because they need them.

I hope hell is real and that a particularly unpleasant part of it is reserved for these people. I imagine it will be dark, shoes will be disallowed and thousands of random Lego pieces will be spread all over the ground.

Sharing this special place with Mum’s scooter thief/oxygen thief will be the person who recently crashed into my wife’s parked XR5 and scarpered, leaving us with a $1400 bill. Even with insurance, we’ll likely end up paying as much thanks to the excess and premium increases.

Nearby, a bloke was trying to fix his rooted old Mirage. He saw what happened and identified the man as an “Indian with big glasses in a 4WD”, which is not particularly helpful. Unfortunately, when it came to information that might actually be of use, like, I don’t know, THE BLOODY REGO NUMBER, he drew a blank.

Now, the damage was not Mirage Man’s fault, he didn’t hit our car (I checked his car for marks) and he had his own troubles that day. But I don’t get why he didn’t even write down the rego.

I know that if I stole some old lady’s handbag worth a fraction of $1400, chances are I would be chased or at least identified and would ultimately end up in a cell with a large man called Bubba.

So, do your bit and take down the rego of anyone who damages someone else’s vehicle. Do it because it is the right thing to do, but also because one day it might be you returning to a mangled car.


How are you finding our new site design? Tell us in the comments below or send us your thoughts at


Subscribe to Wheels magazine

Subscribe to Wheels Magazine and save up to 44%
Get your monthly fix of news, reviews and stories on the greatest cars and minds in the automotive world.



James Stanford

We recommend


Mk8 Golf

Volkswagen Golf Mk8 pricing and specs revealed

Revised and refreshed Golf hits the market to take on Asian rivals

a day ago
Jordan Mulach
Please enable JavaScript to view the comments powered by Disqus.