Opinion: If COVID-19 was a car, what would it be?

Last, but certainly not least, it can’t be universally hated. While obviously no one is a fan of COVID, there are those out there – step forward, Bunnings Karen – that deny its awfulness. This leaves us with cars like the second-generation Ford Mustang, Chevrolet C3 Corvette and other smog-era muscle cars that had all the flex appeal of Bill Gates.

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Or perhaps the DMC DeLorean, a slow, unreliable, poorly conceived and built failure that proved you couldn’t polish a turd, not even if you rolled it in stainless steel, but you can make it a Hollywood star. Of course, the obvious automotive COVID choice is a mid-size Toyota called the Corona, but if you follow the rules above yo…zzzzz. Oh, sorry, I nodded off. Yes, the Corona is far too boring to qualify.

What we need is a car that quickly spread all over the world in huge numbers, wasn’t intended to be dangerous and yet could pose a threat to human life but that isn’t universally despised. The only real option is…the Volkswagen Beetle.

Not everyone views the Beetle this way. Some are swayed by its cutesy looks, its character and its simplicity, but which other car wilfully identifies as a Super Bug? It was hard to eradicate, too, remaining in production until 2003; every time you thought it was gone it would pop up somewhere else.

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This may not be the right answer, perhaps there is a more obvious or appropriate choice. I welcome your thoughts on the matter. Send your suggestions in and I’ll have a think about it.