Mitsuoka Orochi

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Styled by a blind man, the Japanese Orochi is neither beautiful, nor fast. Its 3.1-litre Toyota V6 – also used in Camrys and Hiluxes – needs every one of its 173kW to move the 1590kg Orochi. And by move, we mean, you’ll want to take the Stelvio in the downhill direction.

Gumpert Apollo

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Made in Germany and looking like it’s having an allergic reaction to something, the wide and wild Apollo was basically a racecar with numberplates. A 588kW, twin-turbo 4.2-litre V8 was nestled in a spaceframe chassis, and clad in carbonfibre panels it weighed 1100kg.

Panoz Abruzzi

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If a mummy rhinoceros and a daddy echidna loved each other very much, they might conceive something like the Panoz Abruzzi. Though visually-challenged, a 440kW front-engine V8 powered the rear wheels. Eighty one were built to celebrate 81 years of Le Mans.

Yamaha OX99-11

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Ever wondered why sports bike makers (KTM aside) don’t have a crack at cars? Here is the evidence: a hammerhead shark on wheels. Still, it had a 3.5-litre V12, 300kW and weighed 1150kg. It went over budget and was never produced.

Caparo T1

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As close as you’ll get to an F1 car for the road, the goggle-eyed, insect-like T1 was built by engineers who worked on the McLaren F1. With a 3.5-litre, 429kW atmo V8 – in a chassis weighing 470kg – the berserk T1 was on fire (sometimes literally).

Lamborghini Egoista

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One-off, Gallardo-based, with a 447kW V10 and as gentle on the eyeballs as sulfuric acid. With styling modelled off a fighter jet, you’d ask Lamborghini to fit yours with an ejector seat in case you ever drove past somebody you knew.

Bugatti Centodieci

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Have you ever seen an old car and thought: ‘I wonder how that’d look with a modern design?’ It works for the likes of the Mustang, but we wish Bugatti’s designers hadn’t thought the same thing about the epic EB110 – itself perhaps not the prettiest thing. Too many lines, and holes, make this a bit of a visual mess.

Covini C6W

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Looking like it just crawled out of a river in the Chernobyl exclusion zone, the Covini brings a little F1 Tyrrell P34 to the 21st century. Boasting a 4.2-litre V8 and rear-wheel drive, the Italians who built it say the extra wheels give more front-end grip and better braking. Who cares?

Weber Faster One

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One for the ‘put-it-back-it’s-not-done-yet’ files, the Swiss Faster One might have a moustache, but its speed will boil the marrow in your bones. Weighing 900kg with a 671kW twin-supercharged LS7 V8 and AWD, it hits 100km/h in 2.7sec. Fast, but fugly.

Mansory Cormeum

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The Cormeum started life as a dignified Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG, then the Swiss tuning house Mansory worked their, er, magic and mostly ruined it. With a silly wing on the back, Ferrari 599 lights at the front and a one almighty grille, this one has a face only its mother could love. Fortunately just 15 SLS’s were ruined by Mansory so the chances of you ever seeing a Cormeum are slim.